Today started in a panic. The small group that I lead has met several weeks this semester at 6am due to scheduling conflicts. We had scheduled to meet today at my apartment at 6am. I woke up at 8am and remembered what day it was. Oops. I immediately checked my phone. No messages. Did they all oversleep as well? I texted them all an apology and wondered if they had showed, surprised that I hadn't got any calls. Well, two out of the three had shown up, knocked, received no response, assumed they had missed a memo from me, and left. The other overslept as well. Sorry girls :(. Gratefully, they are gracious and forgiving and didn't hold it against me that they got up before dawn without reward. After kicking myself for that faux pas, I hurriedly got ready for work and rushed out the door.
Work was a bit hectic today, but the kids were extra affectionate towards me, and it blessed me tremendously. Something that I have always thought is absolutely precious is when a child says to me, "I wanna hold you" (meaning they want you to pick them up). The thing is, for me at least, their statement is true. I always wonder if that child really knows that when I wrap my arms around them and they lay their head on my shoulder, they are the ones holding me and showing me that I'm treasured. One of the moms commented to me that her daughter was going to be devastated when I leave at the end of the semester. Oh, how I will miss her "holding" me...
After I left work and made a quick stop at home, I headed to Starbucks to meet Sarah to study for a bit. While we were there, some alumni were trying to access the campus wireless network and couldn't because they didn't have a password. I spent a few minutes helping them, and a little while afterwards, the man came and handed me a Starbucks gift card. I jokingly told Sarah that that is the third time in 2 days that God has answered the desire of my heart for Starbucks ;). What an unexpected blessing.
While I was with Sarah, I found out that a book I requested on interlibrary loan had come in. The exciting part is that it gives crucial information for my thesis--the draft of which is due Monday. The book couldn't have come at a better time. I was thrilled.
Later, I got to meet Ashley for coffee (once again, at Starbucks). We really haven't gotten to spend time together this semester and I was so encouraged by our conversation. Another blessing in the bag.
My beloved brother called me and I got to talk to him about things going on in his life and in mine, and he dealt with my being a little spaced out during parts of the conversation and I just enjoyed talking to him for a good while. I talked to him about some of the little blessings God had given me that day, and also about some of the things I was praying for wisdom about--a large one being a job for after I graduate.
I kid you not, immediately after I got off the phone, I checked my email, and I had an email about possibly setting up an interview for a position I applied for in the Dallas area. Whether it works out or not, I was once again blown away by the many simple things that God used today to remind me that He is faithful.
As I shared with Ashley tonight, I want to lean on the promises of God that He gives for those who seek after Him earnestly instead of buying into the false promises that sin offers me. Today was just an example to me of God's redemptive power and bestowing of grace... from waking up thinking I'd blown it... to turning in for the night feeling incredibly blessed.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Bittersweet
Today I was reminded that my time left at Baylor is dwindling... and I had to hold back tears. I'm excited, don't get me wrong. I know God has great things in store for me. I'm sad to leave, though, especially my friends. I don't like making new friends. Coming to Baylor was really hard for me because it took time to develop real relationships, and surface relationships are not my thing. If I'm honest, I'm somewhat anxious about being in that place again. But, then, I know that that anxiety is not from God, and I need to trust Him to meet my every need. Pray for me, though, please, because my heart aches at the thought of not having people to call to go to lunch with or study at Starbucks or make a Wal-Mart run. At least I'll have some of my precious family there... I won't be totally by myself, and those precious little people I'm related to can cheer my heart from pretty much any sorrow. I know. How could you not smile at this:
The Word
"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it--he will be blessed in what he does." ~James 1:22-25
I went to a Precept Training this weekend with my roommate Amanda. I was in the two day workshop on "How to Study the Bible". We learned how to really study the Bible and practiced through studying Titus and beginning to study 2 Thessalonians. I cannot tell you how good it was to be in the word. I was so challenged by the truth that people do not know how to study the Bible, and convicted that I have neglected my own study of it. I've been regaining and further developing an immense love for God's word this semester. I want to treasure it and handle it in such a way that acknowledges the authority and power of it. I want to hide His word in my heart, that I might not sin against Him, and might give Him all of the glory that He is due.
I went to a Precept Training this weekend with my roommate Amanda. I was in the two day workshop on "How to Study the Bible". We learned how to really study the Bible and practiced through studying Titus and beginning to study 2 Thessalonians. I cannot tell you how good it was to be in the word. I was so challenged by the truth that people do not know how to study the Bible, and convicted that I have neglected my own study of it. I've been regaining and further developing an immense love for God's word this semester. I want to treasure it and handle it in such a way that acknowledges the authority and power of it. I want to hide His word in my heart, that I might not sin against Him, and might give Him all of the glory that He is due.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Because I meant to post this two months ago...
Per a friendly nudge to post on my blog, I realized that I never posted the essay that I wrote for a scholarship from camp this summer, which I was graciously awarded. The essay just gives a glimpse of what God did in my life this summer, and while I intended to post it right after I wrote it, somehow it never happened. So, if you're interested, here it is, from August:
Over the past year, God opened my eyes and my heart to the saddening truth that many individuals with special needs are excluded from the church. I especially noticed that families with small children that have special needs face many obstacles in attending church activities and being included in fellowship with believers due to the needs of their children. My heart was filled with compassion for families who face the unique struggles of having family members with special needs. As I desire to be a part of Christian ministry to children vocationally, I began considering and praying about how to reach out to this particular part of the body of Christ.
As a part of my degree program, I am required to complete an internship, and I was planning to fulfill the requirement during the summer months so I could continue to work during the school year. My desire was to find an experience that dealt with both working with children with special needs and also included Christian ministry. In my search for an organization to work with, I decided to search for a Christian camp for children with special needs. This search led me to Charis Hills. When I found the website for Charis Hills, I was immediately attracted to the heart of the camp to serve children who are typically excluded from regular social situations through an accepting and positive camping experience. After a period of correspondence, I was hired as a counselor at Charis Hills, and I anxiously anticipated the beginning of camp.
Now, the final camp session is only days from coming to a close, and I can hardly put into words the experience I have had over the past few months. I have had the privilege to work with staff who desire to extend grace to and encourage growth in children who struggle with social and behavioral challenges. The community and diversity among the staff of Charis Hills is incredible, and I have formed friendships that I believe will be lasting because they are based on the everlasting community that is found in Christ. This summer, I have seen children experience the grace that Christ extends us through being seen as worthwhile and praised for the good things they are capable of rather than condemned for the mistakes they make. I have learned more and more about how God deals with us as a patient and gracious Father who desires the best for us.
I have seen more of my weaknesses, in which His strength can be shown perfect, and I have had countless opportunities to choose joy in the face of hardship. I have learned that I need rest! When I am physically and emotionally exhausted, and a child is telling me that I ruined their week because they have to be in the arts and crafts activity and they want to explode, it is certainly not in my own strength that I can extend patience and explain that we will do our best to provide activities that they enjoy.
During training week, we had a time in which we were challenged to consider both what we wanted to give and what we wanted to receive this summer. One central thing that I wanted to give was the love of my Savior, and what I wanted to receive was similar: an expansion of my understanding of the heart of my God. This summer, my intention was to seek to experience the love of my Jesus so that I could extend that love to the children I worked with. I wish I could tell you the depth of the love of Christ that I have experienced this summer, but the well has no bottom.
As I leave Charis Hills, I know that the experience I have gained in working with children and working with a team of staff will be invaluable. The practical skills of knowing better how to keep the attention of children, how to recognize the motivations of misbehavior, and definitely having an expanded repertoire of appropriate and engaging activities for a variety of ages will indubitably be of great benefit to me as I continue to work with children and families. I have been blessed and encouraged through the experience of teaching spiritual truth to the children at Charis Hills through camp-wide devotionals, and have begun a journey of learning how to communicate spiritual things in an age-appropriate way. This summer at Charis Hills, I have been filled with an unmistakable peace that Christ has called me to ministry and He will be faithful to lead me every step of the way. More than anything, though, I am walking away from this summer having experienced more greatly the truth that I have and never will be unloved. I will “give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever” (Psalm 136:1).
I will sincerely try to post a more current update in the next few days...Blessings!
Over the past year, God opened my eyes and my heart to the saddening truth that many individuals with special needs are excluded from the church. I especially noticed that families with small children that have special needs face many obstacles in attending church activities and being included in fellowship with believers due to the needs of their children. My heart was filled with compassion for families who face the unique struggles of having family members with special needs. As I desire to be a part of Christian ministry to children vocationally, I began considering and praying about how to reach out to this particular part of the body of Christ.
As a part of my degree program, I am required to complete an internship, and I was planning to fulfill the requirement during the summer months so I could continue to work during the school year. My desire was to find an experience that dealt with both working with children with special needs and also included Christian ministry. In my search for an organization to work with, I decided to search for a Christian camp for children with special needs. This search led me to Charis Hills. When I found the website for Charis Hills, I was immediately attracted to the heart of the camp to serve children who are typically excluded from regular social situations through an accepting and positive camping experience. After a period of correspondence, I was hired as a counselor at Charis Hills, and I anxiously anticipated the beginning of camp.
Now, the final camp session is only days from coming to a close, and I can hardly put into words the experience I have had over the past few months. I have had the privilege to work with staff who desire to extend grace to and encourage growth in children who struggle with social and behavioral challenges. The community and diversity among the staff of Charis Hills is incredible, and I have formed friendships that I believe will be lasting because they are based on the everlasting community that is found in Christ. This summer, I have seen children experience the grace that Christ extends us through being seen as worthwhile and praised for the good things they are capable of rather than condemned for the mistakes they make. I have learned more and more about how God deals with us as a patient and gracious Father who desires the best for us.
I have seen more of my weaknesses, in which His strength can be shown perfect, and I have had countless opportunities to choose joy in the face of hardship. I have learned that I need rest! When I am physically and emotionally exhausted, and a child is telling me that I ruined their week because they have to be in the arts and crafts activity and they want to explode, it is certainly not in my own strength that I can extend patience and explain that we will do our best to provide activities that they enjoy.
During training week, we had a time in which we were challenged to consider both what we wanted to give and what we wanted to receive this summer. One central thing that I wanted to give was the love of my Savior, and what I wanted to receive was similar: an expansion of my understanding of the heart of my God. This summer, my intention was to seek to experience the love of my Jesus so that I could extend that love to the children I worked with. I wish I could tell you the depth of the love of Christ that I have experienced this summer, but the well has no bottom.
As I leave Charis Hills, I know that the experience I have gained in working with children and working with a team of staff will be invaluable. The practical skills of knowing better how to keep the attention of children, how to recognize the motivations of misbehavior, and definitely having an expanded repertoire of appropriate and engaging activities for a variety of ages will indubitably be of great benefit to me as I continue to work with children and families. I have been blessed and encouraged through the experience of teaching spiritual truth to the children at Charis Hills through camp-wide devotionals, and have begun a journey of learning how to communicate spiritual things in an age-appropriate way. This summer at Charis Hills, I have been filled with an unmistakable peace that Christ has called me to ministry and He will be faithful to lead me every step of the way. More than anything, though, I am walking away from this summer having experienced more greatly the truth that I have and never will be unloved. I will “give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever” (Psalm 136:1).
I will sincerely try to post a more current update in the next few days...Blessings!
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