I'm not gonna lie, there have definitely been times within the past three weeks that I've been pretty discouraged... even to the point of questioning why I'm at Baylor and if I'm really seeking after the will of Christ with my life... scary. One thing that has been hard for me in making the decision to come to Baylor and stay at Baylor, is that people are supportive of me because I am convicted about it. I've struggled with others not being convicted about it along with me. I mean, what if I misheard the message? How much of this is God and how much of it is just me? But, as I've struggled and prayed about it before coming to Baylor and while being here, God has shown me so many ways in which He has used my being here to grow me closer to Him along with closer to other people. I've learned so much about being vulnerable, about trusting Him to get me through every situation, about seeking Him out and asking questions, about being real. And though there have been rough moments, He has brought forth joy out of the struggles, through even the tiniest blessings that can speak volumes. The weekend with my brother, sister-in-law, nephew and nieces was so encouraging. I always feel loved the moment I step into their house. James, Mabel, and Diane all listened through my struggles and were just there to cry to, even though they didn't have to be. My parents have been ultra-supportive, as they always are, and I couldn't be more blessed to have them in my life. The other day at Wal-Mart, every child that passed me smiled and said hi and most of them told me something they were excited about. It made my day. I started working in Cubbies last night at Highland, and one little girl the moment she walked in the door latched on to me and picked me as her friend. Yesterday the weather was absolutely beautiful, and I smiled every time I walked out the door. God is good all the time. He's always there for you. He loves you. He will never forsake you.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
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